My mother is made of amazing.

She just bought me a laptop. How did I repay her? By singing “The song That Never Ends” until she finally found the button to hang up on me.

Hey, in my defense, the woman tried to kill me last night! See, her doctors told her not to eat red meat anymore. She didn’t realize that BEEF was red meat until yesterday, apparently. So we’re talking about what she eats. She likes hamburgers, which okay, she knew THAT was beef, so it counts as red meat. Then she said she likes Arby’s roast beef.

Me: “That’s red meat too.”
her: “It is?”
me: “Yes…it’s- “
her: “but it’s not beef, it’s roast be-….oh.”

I was choking on AIR. I was still coughing at six am this morning. So yeah. It was justified, even with the laptop!

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