Asking for help is a GOOD thing.

I am seriously using EVERY SINGLE TAG I use for this, because this is important. A cry for help should not EVER be ignored, and the person ASKING for help should never be made to feel like they are somehow LESS for NEEDING that help.

If you are shot, you go to a doctor. If you break an arm or a leg, you go to the doctor. You don’t feel ashamed for needing help THEN, why should you when the pain is INSIDE you? When it is a literally LIFE THREATENING injury/illness? And yes, people, it IS life threatening. Or do you think they were just playing with the noose around their neck? Or the bullet hole in their head? Or maybe the slit wrists and the mountain of fucking pills in their stomach.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.

Do you know WHY so many people don’t get the help they need? Because there are dickholes out there who are mocking them. Who dismiss the cries for help as a “phase” until the person finally gets to the point where they think “why bother?”

And then those same assholes have the nerve to say “I don’t understand…what happened?”

YOU happened, asshole. You and the rest of society who have pushed them down one too many times, without even a backwards glance, much less a helping hand to get them back on their feet.

Their blood is on YOUR hands. And don’t you EVER fucking forget it.

 

**Note: To those of you who actually reach out to those who need help, this is NOT directed at you. And please, never change that part of you. We need more people like you.**

First off… no one panic, I’m not suicidal. Yes, I get down and feel like wtf is the point at times. I hate having to work when I know life is short and I’m not happy at my job and I keep thinking.. no one cares. If I died tomorrow, there’d be some poor schmuck […]

via Suicide… 4 words: Listen, I need help! — Kawanee’s Korner

Update on…well, everything?

Okay, so if you’ve been keeping up, you know that I was scheduled for surgery on May 17th, but I was sick, so it got pushed back to June 7th. I was still sick on June 1st, so I called the doctor, and they pushed it back some more, and set me up with a doctor’s appointment to find out why I’m still sick.

I ended up going to Urgent Care instead, and hey guess what? Bronchitis. And pink eye, somehow (still trying to figure out how that happened…) So I am on a shitload of medicine to get rid of it, and hopefully, I will be fully recovered in time for surgery on June 21st.

Oh yeah, and the kids being sick? Well, it spread to the parents, so now we have a household of sick people. And it’s all bronchitis. Yay for us! Ugh.

In other news, I bought a bunch of random stuff that made me happy, and I am so far behind on homework it’s sad. June is being a royal pain in the ass, people. It needs to get its shit together, and soon.

Also, sorry about “Say ‘No’ to Zombies,” but it will be updated on Monday!

Eye see what you did there…

Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. The past two days have been very busy for me.

So, went in for my appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to discuss the MRI results. That was fun. I got to harass Mr. Villian Voice, and watch a standoff between a patient and one of the nurses.

Apparently he thought he was there for surgery, but it was just a checkup. He made the mistake of getting beligerant with the head nurse. She shut him down quick. “I am the RN team leader here, and you need to speak to me with respect.”

He left in a huff, but that’s what you get for being pissy with a nurse.

Anyway, they called me in, we all looked at the MRI. I saw my brain on a screen and completely geeked out on the poor doctor. He was laughing at me, but I don’t care. I told him “it looks all wrinkly.”
him: No, it looks normal.
me: I’m pretty sure that’s the only time that word has ever been used to describe my brain.

Entertained the nurse who was trying to take a picture of my eye. The camera was on, but she wasn’t looking at me, so I started dancing around. She happened to look up at the screen, “are you playing with my camera?” Busted~ She walked by me about an hour later, just shaking her head. “Girl, you crazy.” That woman has no idea, rofl.

So, onto the tumor:

So far, everything looks somewhat good. The main doctor said that he think it’s either one certain kind of tumor, or another (there’s a bunch of different kinds).  One is really really bad, the other is somewhat okay. Because there is a distinct lack of pain, he believes the tumor to be the “okay” one.

That doesn’t mean that I am safe, but it’s still good news.

Surgery has been scheduled for Wednesday, but I won’t know what time until the day before. I’ve been told to expect the whole thing to take about 6 hours, but depending on how it goes, I might end up staying overnight. I’ve had to arrange for time off from work and school both, since I’ll be out of it on pain meds for the first couple days, and my eye will be swollen shut. It wouldn’t be so bad, but since I’m functionally blind in my right eye, and this surgery is being done on my left eye….yeah. Ugh.

I spent just about all day yesterday on the phone with school, financial aid services for the surgery (I was approved, yay!), and the hospital in general (all while doing homework assignments that were due THAT DAY. Fun times. Just….So. Much. Fun.). I had an appointment today for the pre-op anaesthetic testing. I thought there was going to be a bunch of tests, but it was just an interview.

My family should be heading out this way on Tuesday, so they’ll be here for the surgery. I guess they’re going to try and help out with the kids while I’m recovering. The manager at the gas station job told me that I am not allowed to come back to work until the doctor says it’s okay. The doctor said I’ll need about 10 days, and warned me that I’ll be bruised from forehead down to my neck/chest area, so if I didn’t want people to see me all messed up, I would need to make arrangements. I don’t care if people see. If they have a problem with the way I look, that’s their problem. The hell if I’m letting them try to make it mine.

All that being said, I will update “Say ‘No’ to Zombies” on Monday, but I’m not sure about the following week. It will depend on how the surgery goes. Some of the risks of the surgery include double vision or loss of vision for the rest of my life and/or the eye, itself. The doctor said he hasn’t had anyone lose an eye yet, and he believes that I won’t have any issues, but he had to tell me about them, for just in case.

Fingers crossed, people. If I lose the ability to read, I will lose my fucking mind.

[Pledge] Day 1

No writing on any of my works in progress, but I did end up writing well over 500 words today. I believe I finished out at 1,214 words. All of it was homework related. I have another assignment due tomorrow, which will probably get me at least halfway there.

Fingers crossed. I also work all day (pretty much) tomorrow, so we’ll have to see how that goes.

Anyone else doing a pledge/challenge this month?

BestBuy wtf?

So after about two hours of haggle with BestBuy.com, I will not be getting the laptop mentioned before. Instead, I will be getting this one. Better(?) brand name, for the same price. Only half the storage space, but that’s fine. I keep most of my important stuff on my main computer anyway. The laptop is pretty much just for homework and/or writing.

It came with free 2 day shipping, but it also says it should arrive on Tuesday, so we’ll see. I’m hoping it shows up on Saturday, but I’m not holding my breath.

[Admin] Format/Posting change.

For those of you who are following along with ‘When Love Dies‘, this mostly applies to you.

Due to school, work, new health issues, and time zone differences between my betas and I, I am going to have to move posting to every other week. Sorry, but there is just too much on my plate to do this every week.

I am also changing the formatting of the posts. I didn’t think about it when I first started posting, but with the chapters being a couple pages each, it really takes up a lot of room on the page. So now, there will be a highlight section – as it were – and then the “Read More” cut.

Hopefully these changes will work out for the better for everyone involved.

Until Saturday…take care everyone.