[Update] Everything is good so far!

For those who want the tl;dr version, please see the title. Everyone else, please continue reading.

Yesterday was the one month post-op check up. I won’t go into the long ass wait, because it really was a long ass wait (the neuro-specialist was called away for an emergency surgery), but the long of the short (so far) is that I am okay, and doing great so far.

There were a few concerns I had to ask him about though. I was told  that I may experience blurry vision for about a year. That’s all fine and good, but I expected it to mean that, when my eye opened up finally, that it would start off as blurry, and get better in time. Instead, one day, my vision will be fine, and the next, it isn’t. One minute, my vision is fine, and the next it isn’t. Hell, my vision has gone in and out about 3 times while I was typing this. I wouldn’t care so much, since I know it’s supposed to be temporary, but I have classes and work, and I need to be able to read for both of those. So yeah. it’s annoying.

The other issue I was worried about is because the eye they operated on is not tearing up the way it should. I went to watch “Wonder Woman” for my niece’s birthday, and during the sad scenes…only one eye cried. It was a very weird experience. It did it again when we went and watched Despicable Me 3 (though, fortunately, not as many sad scenes).

So I talked it over with the doctor, and he thinks it’s because of the gland they operated on. The lacrimal gland is the tear gland. He says that the gland creates a film of moisture over the eye that helps it to move easily within the orbit, and to see. According to the notes from the surgery, there wasn’t any damage to the gland, but it could be not working right yet because of the trauma around it. So, basically, the gland is either creating a thicker than usual film over the eye, or it’s not creating enough of a film. Either way, I have eye drops to try and help it out. We won’t know if it’s a permanent thing or not for a while.

Other than that, the doc says I’m healing great, and my next appointment will be in about three months.

Next update: holy world building, Batman! I’m in love *_*

Asking for help is a GOOD thing.

I am seriously using EVERY SINGLE TAG I use for this, because this is important. A cry for help should not EVER be ignored, and the person ASKING for help should never be made to feel like they are somehow LESS for NEEDING that help.

If you are shot, you go to a doctor. If you break an arm or a leg, you go to the doctor. You don’t feel ashamed for needing help THEN, why should you when the pain is INSIDE you? When it is a literally LIFE THREATENING injury/illness? And yes, people, it IS life threatening. Or do you think they were just playing with the noose around their neck? Or the bullet hole in their head? Or maybe the slit wrists and the mountain of fucking pills in their stomach.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.

Do you know WHY so many people don’t get the help they need? Because there are dickholes out there who are mocking them. Who dismiss the cries for help as a “phase” until the person finally gets to the point where they think “why bother?”

And then those same assholes have the nerve to say “I don’t understand…what happened?”

YOU happened, asshole. You and the rest of society who have pushed them down one too many times, without even a backwards glance, much less a helping hand to get them back on their feet.

Their blood is on YOUR hands. And don’t you EVER fucking forget it.

 

**Note: To those of you who actually reach out to those who need help, this is NOT directed at you. And please, never change that part of you. We need more people like you.**

First off… no one panic, I’m not suicidal. Yes, I get down and feel like wtf is the point at times. I hate having to work when I know life is short and I’m not happy at my job and I keep thinking.. no one cares. If I died tomorrow, there’d be some poor schmuck […]

via Suicide… 4 words: Listen, I need help! — Kawanee’s Korner

A series of disappointments…

It’s been a shitty week.

First, my surgery was pushed back two weeks because of this damn cold I managed to pick up somewhere.

Then, my mom was supposed to come visit, but that fell through. She’s still planning on visiting, but I don’t know when that’s going to happen.

Then the kids both ended up sick, and some news we were expecting never came in. So we’re still waiting on that. I messed up an assignment because of the rigamaroll that was going on with mom’s travel plans, and just. Ugh. It’s been a mess.

Pretty much the only good thing so far was going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2, and even that was a bit blah, because really, Marvel? REALLY?! That was a dick move.

Oh yeah, and The Sims: Parenthood. But overall, this week is blah. And I am so done with it. Three weeks of coughing, people. It’s been THREE weeks!

The surgery was postponed til June 7th, but since I am still coughing, I’m not sure what they’re going to do. This is driving me insane. I want it done and over with, dammit!

Ugh, oh yeah, AND I forgot to update “Say ‘No’ to Zombies.” Sorry about that guys. I might update on Saturday, and then on Monday. We’ll have to see. I’m trying to make sure I stay a couple chapters ahead, but I’ve been so busy with school and work and games, I think I might be a little behind.

Oops?

Heart Song

I think it’s funny that we fit so well together.

We’re worlds apart, but when you put your arms around me, my head fits just perfect underneath your chin, and the space between you and I fades like it had never been there at all.

Then at night, you curl yourself around me, my security blanket against the world. I sleep deeply and my dreams are never less than peaceful when I feel you strong against my back. I love those nights, don’t get me wrong.

But sometimes…it’s your head under my chin as you listen to my heartbeat and I feel you trembling against my skin.

I never know what to say on those nights; so I just stroke your hair and brush kisses and whispered “I love you”‘s across your eyelids and face until you finally fall into your restless dreams.

And it is on those nights, while I wait for sleep to claim me too, that I wonder if you only hear a normal heartbeat, the same that a doctor might, or do you hear the song my heart sings only for you?

Story Effects (Part 2)

So a fellow blogger and I were talking about stories that had a lasting impression on us (in one way or another. Her story, about ‘The Red Spot’ can be found here.

This is my contribution:

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One story that left a lasting mark on me, was a story I read when I was around six or seven. I don’t remember the name of the book, or where I got it from, but it was a collection of scary stories (what is it with kids and scary tales? Seriously?!) including legends of vampires and werewolves. Some of them were just plain “meh.” Urban legends about, how sleeping in the light of the full moon for three days in a row would cause you to turn into a werewolf, using grains of rice to keep a vampire busy until dawn, etc. But one of the stories…oh, that story got me good. In a really weird way. Here is a short version of the tale from Wikipedia:

“There once dwelt in a cavern in this country a vampire, called Dakhanavar, who could not endure anyone to penetrate into these mountains or count their valleys. Everyone who attempted this had in the night his blood sucked by the monster, from the soles of his feet, until he died. The vampire was however at last outwitted by two cunning fellows: they began to count the valleys and when night came on they lay down to sleep, taking care to place themselves with the feet of the one under the head of the other. In the night the monster came, felt as usual and found a head: then he felt at the other end, and found a head there also. “Well,” he cried. “I have gone through the whole 366 Valleys of these mountains, and have sucked the blood of people without end, but never yet did I find any one with two heads and no feet!” So saying he ran away and was never more seen in that country; but ever after the people have known that the mountain has 366 Valleys.”

It’s simple and not really scary, but ever since then, I cannot sleep unless my feet are covered. I also will never forget that the mountains have 366 valleys. Too bad I can never remember the name of the mountain range with so many valleys…

 

Challenge accepted.

For the past three years, I’ve been pranking my youngest niece and nephew. It’s been easy because it’s fell within the school year. They would come home and find their bed sheets switched around, or their closet rearranged. Just little stuff that made them go “Huh?”

This morning, my niece, Koda, made sure to tell me: “You can’t fool us today! We’ll be home allllll day, and we’ll be watching you!”

tried to warn her that I could still get them. She refused to listen.

So I waited. After lunch, she’s doing her chores, and my nephew was sitting at the table, playing with his figurines. I have my tablet.

Me: “Oh…my….GOD! Koda! Koda, come here! Look!”

Both of them come running to see what I have on my tablet. I got two smacks upside the head, but I think I proved my point. With minimal effort, too.

Bonus: less than an hour later, I nonchalantly say: “oh hey, look at that…” And they both came running again. Same picture. If looks could kill…