Yuck. Another eye update.

Okay, so yesterday was my follow-up appointment about the mass behind my eye.

Apparently it is a tumor of some kind. They don’t know if it’s cancerous or not, and because of that, they can’t do a biopsy while it is still inside me. They have to remove it. So…surgery. For sure. Yay. /sarcasm.

No news yet on when the surgery will be. They had to send me in for an MRI to get a better look at the tumor first (Pro tip: Do not wear your hair in a ponytail when you are getting an MRI. By the time they were done, it felt like I had been stabbed in the back of the head). I have been warned that it may be a complicated surgery, depending on if the tumor has attached itself to bone and/or tissue. They have to make sure to get all of the tumor out, because if they don’t, and it turns out that it is cancerous, it can come back as very malignant and aggressive.

They wanted to send me to Houston for the surgery, but they’re not even sure if the hospital there accepts people without insurance. There’s also the problem that even if they do accept non-insured patients, it would be ass expensive, and I can’t afford it.

I’ve already applied for medicaid and was turned down (I don’t make enough. Not sure how exactly that makes sense, but that’s what it said). I also tried to sign up through the Affordable Healthcare thing, but open enrollment was closed. And now, thanks to Fuckhead in Chief, it’s about to go the way of the dinosaurs anyway. So yeah, I’m screwed seven ways to sunday on that one.

On the plus side, I get to see my mother soon. She’s supposed to come out and visit sometime in the next couple weeks, and possibly my sister as well. Still trying to work that one out. My sister said she will definitely be here for the surgery, but we’re not sure how long the recovery time for it is, so just…ugh. It’s a mess.

I called my mom and my sister both last night to give them the news and to get the freakouts out of the way. It’s seriously not that big of a deal yet, but ahh, family. At least they’re doing the freaking out for me, which means I can concentrate on homework, lol.

Ugh, this surgery better not mess with my GPA.

How dare you?

To the author of “Dear White people, Your Safety Pins are Embarrassing,” and others who mock us for wearing safety pins: how dare you? You say that the safety pins make us look stupid and that we only wear them to try to make ourselves feel better. You think we wear it out of guilt? Seriously?

Do you have any idea what it means to us? Because I really don’t think you do. Not if you think we’re wearing it to proclaim “I’m on of the good guys.” Or that we’re trying to prove that we’re not racist/homophobic/etc.. And especially if you think we’re wearing it to show that we’re not Trump supporters.

Since you don’t seem to understand, let me try explaining it: we are wearing it because we recognize that we are on the brink of a full out war, and we are declaring ourselves soldiers on the frontlines for the rights of our fellow Americans. We are volunteering to put our own safety on the line for them. We are saying “You are not alone in this fight. When you feel all alone in your foxhole, look next to you. We are here. We have your back.”

If you had addressed this just to the people wearing the pin out of guilt, I would understand. I’m sure there are some people who put the pin on for that very reason, just as I am sure that some are wearing it just because other people are. To them, it is a game. To them, it’s all about following the latest whatever Facebook has brought us.

But to the rest of us, it’s about our friends and family. And to the rest of us, what your article implies is even more insulting than your click bait title.

This isn’t a game to us. This isn’t about guilt. This isn’t about making ourselves feel better, and if you pulled your head out of your ass long enough to really think it through, maybe you would understand that.

[Safety Pin] This beautiful thing right here…

I will be picking up a whole box of these ASAP, and I plan on wearing ten at a time. I WANT people to see it. I want them to NOTICE it. I want there to be NO MISTAKING what side I am on. I WANT people to know that there are still good in the world, and I am part of it. I WANT people to know that they are NOT alone. And for those who mean to get a safety pin of their own, and keep forgetting, I WANT to be a reminder.

We need this. Now, more than ever. 

Thank you, whoever it was that came up with this for Brexit. It’s sad that you needed it and it’s sad that we need it now, but it’s heartening to know that there are people like you who care enough to come up with things like this. 

Image credit to someone on facebook. Not sure of the original creator.

[Politics]Someone save us all…

Well, he won. As a Bernie supporter, I am not happy. As a woman, I am worried. As a friend to the Black/Muslim/LGBTQ spectrum/Hispanic community, I am terrified. As an American, I am humiliated. And as a human being, I am disgusted to the point of nausea. But now is the time to move on.

So.

I am making myself a rule/pact. I will give myself until Sunday at 11:59 pm to mourn the less of human decency and be a general all around jackass about this election. As soon as the clock hits midnight on Monday, I am done.

Bitching doesn’t do any good. The race has been won. The only thing left to do is move forward, and quite frankly life goes by too fast to NOT keep moving. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. It just means I’m not going to waste anymore time (after Sunday) on something beyond our control now.

I still think he is trash and a waste of human space, and when it comes to civil rights, I will fight him tooth and nail. HOWEVER, *IF* he makes moves to actually IMPROVE the US, then I will support those movements, because as an American, it is my duty to my country.

I want you all to keep this in mind though: when I show support for the POSITIVE movements he makes, it is AMERICA I am supporting. Not him.

And to my Hispanic/Black/Muslim/LGBTQ (and everyone else along the spectrum) friends/readers: I will never stop fighting for you, and I am not alone on this. I know it looks bad right now, but stay strong. There is still good in the country, and we have your back.